butterflyy...

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Cancer (June 22 - Junly 22)
Looks like lotsa love is in the air this year. It might explain why your zodiac sign looks like the number 69. But anyway, career-wise, things look good for 2007. New projects are coming your way so it's also likely that you have to prepare for a year of stress and little rest. Despite the pedantic nitpicker that you are, you are still capble of enormous output and creative exchange. Anyway, the stars also think it's time for you to realize the artsy person in you. Surprise and shock the world by planting roses or dabbling in water colour. Apparently, this will bring you much pleasure of growth and intimacy. If not attached, it is a good time to open up to the possibilities as love shines strongly upon you. All in all: a pretty hot year. Drink lots of water and don't burn up.

I never believed in horoscope forecasts. But for this once, I really hope it is true.

If you're wondering what a pedantic nitpicker is...
I've looked it up in a dictionary...
Pedantic - overly concerned with small unimportant rules or details
Nitpicker - likes to find faults with insignificant details, especially as a way of criticizing
I agree I am one.
Sometimes I just hate the way I am.

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 10:03 PM

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Monday, January 22, 2007

"This, too, shall pass."

According to a biblical tale, the wise king Solomon once challenged one of his courtiers to find words that would make any happy man sad and any sad man happy. Many days and nights had passed but the courtier still couldn't find the answer. One day, he met an old man and told the man his problem. The old man then carved out something on the courtier’s ring. The courtier returned to the king's palace. Upon seeing him, the king stood up, ready to laugh at the courtier's failure. But before he could say anything, the courtier gave him the ring. Written on it were the words: "This too shall pass".

Happiness will not last forever, do not be complacent.
Enjoy the bliss today, but always be ready for future upsets in your life.

Sadness will not last forever, be patient and strong.
Bear with it now, the bliss you are looking for will come soon.

Why is this so?
Because time never stops for anyone.
Whatever that is happening now, will pass.
No turning back.

The light at the end of a tunnel could mean two things:
salvation or an oncoming train.
Which is your opinion?

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 10:32 PM

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

testing testing

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 4:43 PM

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Monday, January 08, 2007

Happy first day of school to NUS and NTU students!

Im in school now... in a cold and miserable computer lab.. alone and feeling extremely bored.
2 hours break before my next lecture... which i hardly wan to attend...
Feeling very down.. for no reason.... or for some reason which i do not understand...
Coming back to this school just makes me feel uneasy... im not depressed.. but i feel very uncomfortable... very out of place... feeling out of place in a place where ive spent almost 3 years... thats weird... Im not worried about the lessons, the work, the exams or wad... In fact this sem ive decided to totally heck care abt my results.. So what is it? What is it that i am dreading? Perhaps its the school life... the mundane routine i have to go through everyday... it sucks... Its yet ANOTHER sem.. another same boring sem that i have to go through... and after this sem i still have another 2 more to go... it seems never ending.. no matter how fast time seems to fly... IF ONLY i will be graduating after this sem... Well i can do that if i want.. but i cant...

Elaine!! Stop being so uptight! Stop being so irritable!
Its just school. Whats the big deal?
How many years of school have you gone through, yet now when you are already nearing the end of your entire schooling life, you are freaking over going to school?!
What rubbish Elaine, stop being silly.

Hmm.. i must be out of my mind.
Im talking to myself.

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 3:00 PM

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Friday, January 05, 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I know its kinda late.. saying this now.. haha.
Been a bit busy lately.. not in Singapore during new year's day also..
And i didnt intend to have a New Year's entry at first... not until i read a couple of my friends writing such an entry.. including things like recollections of the past 2006.. and resolutions for the new year 2007... Wells... so thot i shd do something like that too... Haha... im a follower.

SO... Whats there to talk about for the year 2006.
I cant find a suitable adjective to describe the whole year... cos the fluctuations within this year is too great.. all the ups and downs.. all the changes and the turmoil..
I cant even give it a grade - was it a good year? a bad year? a okie year? Haha.... I have no idea.
It depends on how i look at it... so it may be a matter of perspective.
It can also depend on the time of the year.. so its a mattter of temporal factor.

Let me look at year 2006 temporally first..
I think it would be good to break it down into 3 time periods and grade them.. according to NUS grading system... Haha.. thats the only system im familar with.
January to April : A
The first few months of the year was indeed wonderful, a brand new start, a brand new life... and a brand new kind of happiness... the best kind i ever had... Although it wasnt meant to last.. i would never regret having it as a part of my life.
May to August : C+
Doesnt this look weird? Its the school holidays.. should it deserve a better grade? Too bad.. not the case for year 2006... I think i had the worst school holidays i ever had.. Hmm.. Isnt it more weird that my birthday - my 21st bday, falls in this period? The very person who promised to make my 21st bday the happiest i ever had turned out to be the one who took away that very happiness.
September to December : B-
Slight improvement in grade... year3 sem1 had been difficult.. but i worked very hard.. i tried all means to get away from that C+ grade... and i did it! December hols was not bad.. im very glad i enjoyed myself!
Hmm... so thats 5 + 2.5 + 3 = 10.5
So my CAP for year 2006 would be 10.5/3 = 3.5
So my conclusion is.. on the whole my year 2006 had been a bad one... cos 3.5 is by far the lowest CAP i encountered.. and i have never gotten a C+ before..

But to say the truth.. this grading system cant capture my entire experience of year 2006.
Over the months.. i experienced so many major changes, major challenges, major setbacks, major turmoils and major recoveries... they happened throughout the year in no particular fixed patterns... Which means to say.. there were bad times even within the A grade period.. there were also good times within the C+ period... Well.. one may tell me.. this is all part of life. I agree.
This brings me to the perspective factor.. From what perspective shall i look at my year 2006?
I always believed in a theory... Bad things in life are always there for a purpose - to enable us to appreciate the good things. Without the bad things in life, will you be able to experience the good things? ... Without people who are ugly, will the beautiful people look pretty? ... Without people who are stupid, will the intelligent people be smart? ... Without the sad moments in your life, will you know what is happiness? .. Perhaps you may not realise it... you are constantly feeling and thinking using comparisons... When you are very happy, why do you think you are feeling happy? perhaps... you realise you are feeling better than yesterday, and yesterday wasnt very good, so today must be good, since it feels better.. This is a automatic natural process in your mind so you dun realise you are doing it... Another example.. Many times when people console others they would say things like - look there are many people out there who are more unfortunate than you are. When you experienced something real bad and you feel very lousy.. you either think about people who are so much better off than you and then you pity yourself thinking you are so poor thing, or you think about people who are even more unfortunate than you are and feel that things are not so bad afterall... This is a classic example how we use comparisons in determining our own feelings... So its very important to think in the right perspective.. thats all it takes to solve a problem sometimes - look at it from a different angle.

So what am i trying to say? Hmm...
Although i got an overall 3.5 CAP which sucks... but i shouldnt think of it that my whole year has been wasted... I am glad to have had the good and the bad.. everything.
Without the C+, i wouldnt think back and realise how wonderful grade A was..
Without the C+, i wouldnt feel so glad that i have a B- now... although its only a small improvement.
When i had my A grade.. i was too complacent.. thought i will have that A forever.. When i lost it.. then i realise how wrong i was... Now im satisfied even if i only have a B-.
How true a saying goes - You will only appreciate what you have when you lose it.

Hmmm... How come my supposedly New Year entry sounds so different from my friends'?
I haven talked abt any major events in year 2006 leh... Haha.. And ive gone on to lotsa more abstract stuff... Well... I guess i prefer not to recall the major events in 2006... Whats passed has passed.. let it pass... Just like a famous Chinese saying - jiu de bu qu, xin de bu lai. (the old dun go, the new wun come). Another saying i got from a friend's blog - Life is like a bike without brakes. You cant move back, you cant stop, you have to ride on. So... Dun dwell abt the past, dun stay put, just move on... Life is just like that.

Although i chose to leave out my recollections of the past year.. I still need to talk abt my resolutions for the new year yah?
Simple.. get a CAP 4 at least.. for BOTH my 2007 life and my exam results. Haha. Simple enough?

I shall give my myself some encouragement.

Elaine!! You have overcomed the worst times of your life. You have done well. Put the past behind you and look forward to the brand new year ahead. Year 2007 will be a better year! Jiayou bah! Jiayou jiayou jiayou!!!

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 12:19 AM

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