butterflyy...

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Friday 17 Nov

Its the last day of The Deck aka the Arts Canteen... its the last time i'll see The Deck in this form.. for the new one coming up next August will not never be the same again..
I dunno why i got so sentimental about this... the moment i stepped into the canteen today i felt really sad.. the feeling that im gonna lose something forever and i cant do anything about it... and yet i know that losing it is inevitatable.. and thats the only way for the new to come... All these feelings.. gosh.. for a canteen... I took out my camera phone and started snapping away at almost every part of the canteen i occupied before in the past 2.5 years... Im glad i wasnt the only one, for i saw a few others holding cameras and some even video cams... My particular favourite place is the "sea-view" seats at the end, where its usually cooler and get a good view of the harbour... I looked at the tables.. i could remember those i sat before.. the times i had.. who i sat with.. what happened.. Im an ultimate nostalgic person.. particularly towards architecture... they trigger memories much better than the most well-written notes and summmaries (or else i would have become the top student)... Memories are etched in the physical architecture.. with the building gone, the memories are gone too? Oh so i hope.. or hope not? Im not sure...

Memories... the good and the bad.. the sweet and the bitter... and also the bittersweet... I define bittersweet memories as essentially pleasant events that are remembered, but yet from the point of time that they are being recalled, it becomes a bitter experience, due to one reason or another... In my opinion such memories are of the worst kind... Can you imagine how dreadful it is when you feel sad recalling happy events from the past? Its ironically depressing... Such memories are the hardest to forget.. cause they are remembered both as happy and sad events.. the more you remember how happy it was, the more sad you feel, then the sadness brings on to the next time you recall the same event, and the more sad you become, the higher the tendency you will recall the memories again.. and so on.. its a perpetual cycle... you cant get out of it... and these memories eventually flood your whole mind until a particular table, for example, which can bring about other memories, end up just triggering the same old memories which you try the hardest to forget, yet cant.... I call this the MSM effect - Memory Sadness Multiplier effect.

If im a psychology major.. i would write a thesis on memories... I myself would be the best research subject.

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 12:29 AM

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